Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I really should go back and tighten it up a bit. I'll definitely keep in mind the phrase you mentioned and see if I can either fix or axe it.
And you know, I agree about the need for a third sacrifice. I've always felt like the story was a bit hollow somehow, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That was probably it. If I crack this one open again I'll have to see if I can't come up with a third "sacrifice" to round things out.
Anyway, thanks again! I was out of the loop yesterday, but once I get in gear again I'm going to paw through the stories you have posted and start reading them.
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Date: 2005-06-29 02:36 am (UTC)And you know, I agree about the need for a third sacrifice. I've always felt like the story was a bit hollow somehow, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That was probably it. If I crack this one open again I'll have to see if I can't come up with a third "sacrifice" to round things out.
Anyway, thanks again! I was out of the loop yesterday, but once I get in gear again I'm going to paw through the stories you have posted and start reading them.