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wordwhacker[Edit: January 11th, 2007 - this story is featured as a "demo" story on Critique Circle, along with the crits that it received. Pretty cool, eh? For anyone looking for a great place to get feedback on fiction (both short and long), CC is a wonderful resource.]
I can't remember exactly what the deadline was for this, but I'm pretty sure I passed it. Boo. Anyway, here it is - a concept challenge from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eternalism to write a story involving a hurricane. It was a fun little snippit to write.
Post Haste (Vignette, 650 words)
"Hello?"
"Jen!" By some miracle, David hadn't hung up the phone this time. Ten magical tones had sounded in his ear, like something out of a dream, and there she was. He re-adjusted his grip on the receiver. "Uh, hi."
"Hi." There was a smile in Jen's voice. David could picture it all too easily, though it might have been because he was staring at her picture on the wall.
"So," David said, suddenly realizing that he hadn't planned this far ahead, "how are you?"
"Good, good - we missed the worst of the storm."
"That's good," he said, mentally slapping himself. "I mean, that's why I'm calling, really. You know, just to make sure everything is okay." It wasn't a lie; he had wanted to check in on her, considering she'd been his best friend since Junior High. Now she was living three states away, taking computer courses in a hot new school near Miami.
He had an ulterior motive, however.
"Yeah, we're all okay," she said, a little slowly.
David winced. She must have known something was up. He had to act fast. "That's good - I mean, everything was pretty screwed up there for a while, huh? Power went out, mail wasn't delivered, that kind of thing?" It was a bit heavy-handed, but it would have to do.
"Mm hmm," she went on, casually. David's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't mentioned the letter. "It's been a few days, they've had to do some cleaning up and stuff. I went for a walk the day after the hurricane and it was crazy, there were palm trees down everywhere."
"Wow. Palm trees, eh?" David swiveled his chair to face his dorm window. He could feel Jen's picture staring at him, that frustratingly cute grin on her face.
"Yeah, it's really neat. You should come visit sometime, Davy. When's your Spring Break?"
"Second week of March." Going to visit her... now there was a thought. "Would you... so you'd actually want me to come visit?"
"Why not?" she said, her voice teasing. "Don't you miss me?"
"Well, yeah - I do." He wasn't about to tell her how much. From the sound of it, he was safe; the letter must have been lost in the storm, like he'd hoped. "Hey, Jen, I'm sorry, but I've gotta run... maybe I can call you this weekend, we can talk about getting together over Spring Break?"
"Sure - I'll be here. Give me a ring whenever."
"Okay. Later."
"Bye."
David hung up the phone with a sigh. The first love letter he'd ever written had been lost in the mail, and he couldn't have been any more relieved.
"Over Spring Break," he mumbled to himself, spinning his desk chair to face the bulletin board and her picture again. "I'll tell her over Spring Break." He wasn't sure if he believed those words; every time he'd tried to tell her, something had stopped him at the last minute. This time it had been a hurricane, even after he'd been sure it was too late to back out.
He'd tell her when he saw her in person. He owed it to her.
Jen let the receiver slide back into the cradle with a satisfying click. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. With a sigh she sank back against her pillows, holding David's dog-eared letter up so she could read it again. He'd finally mustered up the guts to say something to her, or at least write something to her, and had immediately tried to weasel his way out of it. For now she'd let it slide; if he needed to believe that the letter hadn't arrived, he probably wasn't ready to send it yet.
"Poor David," she said to herself, or maybe to the letter. "Maybe someday you'll realize what your feelings are really written all over."
---
And now, challenges for the week of 07/10:
shloop and eternalism: Write a story involving a time capsule. (I figure, why not give multiple people the same challenge? It's fun to see what different directions the same prompt can go in.)
I can't remember exactly what the deadline was for this, but I'm pretty sure I passed it. Boo. Anyway, here it is - a concept challenge from
eternalism to write a story involving a hurricane. It was a fun little snippit to write.Post Haste (Vignette, 650 words)
"Hello?"
"Jen!" By some miracle, David hadn't hung up the phone this time. Ten magical tones had sounded in his ear, like something out of a dream, and there she was. He re-adjusted his grip on the receiver. "Uh, hi."
"Hi." There was a smile in Jen's voice. David could picture it all too easily, though it might have been because he was staring at her picture on the wall.
"So," David said, suddenly realizing that he hadn't planned this far ahead, "how are you?"
"Good, good - we missed the worst of the storm."
"That's good," he said, mentally slapping himself. "I mean, that's why I'm calling, really. You know, just to make sure everything is okay." It wasn't a lie; he had wanted to check in on her, considering she'd been his best friend since Junior High. Now she was living three states away, taking computer courses in a hot new school near Miami.
He had an ulterior motive, however.
"Yeah, we're all okay," she said, a little slowly.
David winced. She must have known something was up. He had to act fast. "That's good - I mean, everything was pretty screwed up there for a while, huh? Power went out, mail wasn't delivered, that kind of thing?" It was a bit heavy-handed, but it would have to do.
"Mm hmm," she went on, casually. David's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't mentioned the letter. "It's been a few days, they've had to do some cleaning up and stuff. I went for a walk the day after the hurricane and it was crazy, there were palm trees down everywhere."
"Wow. Palm trees, eh?" David swiveled his chair to face his dorm window. He could feel Jen's picture staring at him, that frustratingly cute grin on her face.
"Yeah, it's really neat. You should come visit sometime, Davy. When's your Spring Break?"
"Second week of March." Going to visit her... now there was a thought. "Would you... so you'd actually want me to come visit?"
"Why not?" she said, her voice teasing. "Don't you miss me?"
"Well, yeah - I do." He wasn't about to tell her how much. From the sound of it, he was safe; the letter must have been lost in the storm, like he'd hoped. "Hey, Jen, I'm sorry, but I've gotta run... maybe I can call you this weekend, we can talk about getting together over Spring Break?"
"Sure - I'll be here. Give me a ring whenever."
"Okay. Later."
"Bye."
David hung up the phone with a sigh. The first love letter he'd ever written had been lost in the mail, and he couldn't have been any more relieved.
"Over Spring Break," he mumbled to himself, spinning his desk chair to face the bulletin board and her picture again. "I'll tell her over Spring Break." He wasn't sure if he believed those words; every time he'd tried to tell her, something had stopped him at the last minute. This time it had been a hurricane, even after he'd been sure it was too late to back out.
He'd tell her when he saw her in person. He owed it to her.
Jen let the receiver slide back into the cradle with a satisfying click. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. With a sigh she sank back against her pillows, holding David's dog-eared letter up so she could read it again. He'd finally mustered up the guts to say something to her, or at least write something to her, and had immediately tried to weasel his way out of it. For now she'd let it slide; if he needed to believe that the letter hadn't arrived, he probably wasn't ready to send it yet.
"Poor David," she said to herself, or maybe to the letter. "Maybe someday you'll realize what your feelings are really written all over."
---
And now, challenges for the week of 07/10:
shloop and eternalism: Write a story involving a time capsule. (I figure, why not give multiple people the same challenge? It's fun to see what different directions the same prompt can go in.)
